massaging your growing child
by Dr Shirley Zipperlen PhD, Certified Infant Massage Instructor
As your child develops and grows her responses to massage will change. Check out our tips for adapting your routine and expectations to make sure nurturing touch remains a central part of your relationship.
Active Crawler – At this stage you will have to resort to massaging whatever you can get hold of! Baby will probably not sit still long enough for a full massage, in fact he or she will probably lose interest before you finish the legs. Keep the ritual of asking permission but don’t try to force the issue. It is fine to massage a foot in passing, and stroke the other later. Try the “sbbreviated” massage routine when changing baby’s nappy – this takes only a couple of minutes but still allows you both to enjoy the benefits of nurturing touch.
Toddler – At this age children often say “no” to everything and anything, even things they really want. Be aware of this when asking permission to massage your child – no may really mean yes. Use rhymes and singing to make the massage fun and informal. Many children of this age love to hear the words “I Love You!” as you stroke their tummy. Try making the massage part of the bed time routine – it can really help them to settle.
4 to 6 Years – While children of this age are usually enthusiastic about massage and will lie still for long periods, they are also often very ticklish! Use broad firm strokes and containment holds to help dissipate a bad case of the tickles. Sometimes you will need to stop what you are doing and massage a different part of the body entirely. Tell stories (e.g. planting a garden) and involve the child as you go. You can let them develop the story (what kind of seeds are we planting?) and it is important to ask for feedback on how the massage is going (Is that nice? should I go faster?).
6 to 12 Years – Pre-pubescent children are becoming more self-conscious about their bodies and it is important to be sensitive to this. A quick informal massage may be more appropriate in this case, e.g. the ballerina’s beauty rub, or the soccer player special. Keep your tone light and informal and avoid making a big deal of the massage. The child may prefer to have just his or her legs and feet massaged, rather than the whole body, and you may want to adapt the strokes to accommodate growing limbs, for example massage the legs in two parts, above and below the knee.
13 years and over – By the time a child reaches 13 they are keen to establish their independence and be treated as an adult. Massage is still an important tool for maintaining intimacy with your child, although you should be particularly careful to respect their maturity. Ask permission as you would for any adult, keeping it informal (“Can I give you a shoulder rub?”) and insignificant. Aim to massage one part of the body at a time – the feet and calves are a good place to start as they are not too intimate. Try giving your teenager a foot rub as they watch the television or read a book to maintain the contact without making it a “big deal”. Remember not to force the issue and acknowledge your child’s independence by asking them to return the favour from time to time!
For details of forthcoming infant massage classes on the Sunshine Coast click here >
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